• girl: i'm having vagina surgery
  • boyfriend: i know
  • girl: i love you
  • boyfriend: i love you too
  • after surgery she wakes up and only dad is there
  • girl: where is my boyfriend
  • dad: who do you think gave you the vagina
  • girl: what

  • reading a romantic story: omfg i'm gonna die alone
  • watching a romantic movie: omfg i'm gonna die alone
  • listening to a romantic song: omfg i' gonna die alone
  • living life: omfg i'm gonna die alone

  • friend: sorry, I can't hang out anymore
  • me: but I showered for you

My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.
  • Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
  • Brother: that's not fair
  • Mom: DO AS I SAY.
  • Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
  • Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
  • Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.


That’s what we do.

That’s what we do.


  • Mom: Do you have a boyfriend yet?
  • Me: boyfriend? What's a boyfriend? Is that a Pokemon?